| I've never been the boastful sort. But on the | | | | Read expert guidebooks and building regulations, |
| subject of the renovation of my formerly | | | | and never be afraid to ask for advice. |
| rickety-rackety old cottage I make an exception. | | | | Naturally, leave the specialist jobs you really don't |
| Much as I might well be physically wrecked, | | | | think you can successfully undertake to the |
| beholding the fruits of my labours each day fills | | | | experts (especially those requiring qualifications |
| me with a sensation of warm smugness. | | | | such as electrical rewiring). Much as I might like to |
| Furthermore, I now consider myself eminently | | | | have a bash at thatching, I know that half of it |
| qualified to dish out advice on the cost of building | | | | would end up in Berkshire after the first breath of |
| work to anyone who stands still for long enough. | | | | wind. And I live in Cornwall. |
| And that includes octogenarian Carmelite nuns. | | | | DIY is much more than nailing up a shelf. It can be |
| I have come to the conclusion that there are only | | | | anything from foundations to ridge tiles and |
| a handful of reasons why anyone should | | | | pretty much everything in between. |
| overspend on a home improvement project. Most | | | | Rule Number 3. Have no cash to spend... |
| obvious of these, of course, is the unforeseen | | | | Set yourself a ridiculously tiny budget to work |
| structural problem. But more often than not it's | | | | with - one so unfeasibly inadequate that anyone |
| down to letting imbeciles loose with chequebooks. | | | | with even a passing interest in building collapses in |
| Moreover, many people have little or no interest | | | | hysterics. Then halve it. |
| in construction or DIY. Instead, they hand over | | | | Having very little money sharpens the mind when |
| vast amounts of money to total strangers having | | | | it comes to purchasing. In fact, I wouldn't allow |
| blithely accepted whopping estimates without | | | | anyone else to do the sourcing on my behalf |
| question. | | | | unless I knew them personally and trusted them |
| So, if you're considering your own ‘grand | | | | implicitly. |
| design', but get the jitters about the potential | | | | Don't get me wrong, this isn't a sideswipe at |
| cost, here are my Three Golden Rules (of which | | | | tradesmen. To me, a first-class bricklayer or |
| the third is the most important). | | | | joiner is the equal of a surgeon or barrister. And |
| Rule Number 1: Be Nice... | | | | far superior if you're caught up in a pub riot. But |
| Let's say you need a powerful SDS drill for one | | | | half of them have no interest in budgeting |
| little job but don't actually own such a device. | | | | because they merely want to get on with the |
| Your first option is to purchase the required tool, | | | | job. And who can blame them? |
| but that will set you back a fair few pennies thus | | | | Letting someone whack everything on their big |
| making the hole you need to create one of the | | | | builders' merchants account is akin to lending your |
| most expensive orifices known to humanity. | | | | Aston Martin DB9 to a plastered youth. Sure, |
| Alternatively, you might know of someone locally | | | | some items will be cheaper than elsewhere, but |
| who already possesses the aforementioned | | | | nowhere near all of them - never overlook the |
| implement and ask them if you can borrow it for | | | | smaller independent merchants who are often |
| ten minutes. | | | | much more competitive than the big guns. |
| The second option is, of course, the most | | | | Other recommendations include undertaking |
| economical. And the most time saving. But if | | | | painstaking online research, scouring the classifieds |
| you've been a miseryguts all your life then the | | | | in the local paper, and keeping an ear out for |
| chances of anyone lending you rat poison - let | | | | anyone who might be getting rid of the stuff you |
| alone an expensive power tool - is extremely slim. | | | | need. In effect, do everything short of becoming |
| Cheerful and generous people get cheerfulness | | | | a kleptomaniac. |
| and generosity in return, and those of decent | | | | Auctions can be good, too. But be wary of those |
| character will almost always receive advice, offers | | | | of interest to the trade. I went to a couple during |
| of help and even materials that others don't need | | | | the course of my own project and left |
| but have lying around at home. It's a sort of | | | | flabbergasted on both occasions. Never in my life |
| construction karma: what goes around comes | | | | have I witnessed such a boneheaded willingness |
| around. | | | | to pay over the odds on everything from |
| Furthermore, if you're employing the services of | | | | insulation to rusty nails. I'm absolutely certain I |
| a skilled tradesman and spend half of the time | | | | could have sold a bag of grass cuttings. |
| bellyaching and being inhospitable, do you really | | | | Finally, buy what you need in advance when the |
| expect they'll pull out all the stops to help? | | | | opportunity arises. For example, my local DIY |
| Rule Number 2. Have a go... | | | | superstore recently had a clearance of sockets |
| While a few people are so incompetent they | | | | and switches. However, if I bought them today I'd |
| shouldn't be entrusted to go to the lavatory by | | | | have to shell out 80% more. Do this type of |
| themselves, most are capable of well over half of | | | | pre-purchasing often enough on a big project and |
| the required work even if they don't realise it. | | | | you'll save thousands. |