| Let me begin by saying that I love animals, pets, | | | | put up a new roll of toilet paper, she manages to |
| the environment, and maintain a very green | | | | unroll it, as though its a game. She then somehow |
| lifestyle. Furthermore, I rescued the cat that I will | | | | aims the toilet paper at her litter box, and creates |
| write about from certain death at the animal | | | | a complete mess. |
| shelter. All I wanted to do is give this cat a good | | | | Then after she had walked all over the kitty litter |
| and loving home so it can have a happy life. | | | | she likes to take a nap right in the sink, putting |
| Perhaps the cat has a different view on things, | | | | her dirty paws where I put my tooth brush, |
| but it can't write, so we will have to settle for my | | | | forcing me to consistently clean everything. This |
| one-sided and obviously biased account of things. | | | | obviously drives me nuts. |
| As I explained, I am pretty much a saint on the | | | | If it seems this cat is really misbehaved, I saved |
| level no less than mother Theresa. This cat on | | | | her best mischief for last. At night, when my |
| the other hand is a complete menace. She | | | | fiance and I are asleep, she jumps on the bed, |
| scratches all my furniture. Actually, no, that is not | | | | creeps up to my fiancee, and gives her little bites |
| quite right. She scratches only my best furniture. | | | | on the head with her sharp fangs. It does not |
| For years I have been trying to teach her not to | | | | cause bleeding or anything, but the cat does this |
| do scratch my furniture, but the only thing she | | | | all night. She doesn't do this to me - only to my |
| has learned is to scratch it when I am not in the | | | | fiance. Naturally, in the morning, my fiance is very |
| room. I bought her a gigantic kitty condo that is | | | | mad at me and I have to take a lot of blame. |
| bigger than my entire apartment in square | | | | You can guess how nice it must be to wake up |
| footage, but the cat just avoids it and goes right | | | | with a cranky fiance who did not sleep all night. |
| to scratch the best furniture, messing up the | | | | This cat is really driving me crazy, but you know |
| entire living room. | | | | what? After all that, in my heart, I actually love |
| While she consistently destroys my living room, | | | | this cat even more. |
| she is far worse in the bathroom. Every time I | | | | |