Guy, Get Your Girl

I grew up in a household of grandmothers,After graduation from high school and feeling
mother, sisters, aunts, and older and youngersorry for himself with tears actually running down
female cousins. They thought racist and bathroomhis cheeks one day, his older sister gave him
stories were hilarious. They could take a joke too.verbal hell. She told him he should quit feeling
There was no father or other males in mysorry for himself and to start learning something
youthful years. Being the only male in my family, Iabort women.
got lots of attention. I was always the cousin whoAfter that, Joe said he read every female
got the extra piece of cake. I grew up thinking Ipsychology source that he could find, and he got
knew all about women until I started college atgirls to start talking about themselves and their
Arizona State University.goals in life. Joe said he had learned to like girls
Soon after enrolling at Arizona State, I soonbetter than ever. He also said that he enjoyed
realized there was a lot about females that I justwomen more since he had learned to understood
didn't know. After one or two dates with a girl, Ithem. Joe used to fix me up with blind dates too.
was usually dropped for some other guy. I hadThree of my female cousins and an aunt married
two good friends who had starting body buildingand divorced, and remarried and divorced again.
at 13, and they had physiques that would rivalThey always had good husbands too. I think the
Arnold Swartsnegger. They had the samebreakups came about by the guys not
problem. After one or two dates, they would beunderstanding how females think and what keeps
dropped for other guys too. What got to usfemales turned on.
most, there was a nerd named Joe (who wasMy wife has passed on, but we had an ideal loving
actually a good friend) that had girls around him allrelationship, because I took the time to study the
the time. He was skinny, a little stooped over, andpsychology of women before I ever started
he was always fighting pimples.looking for a wife. We had three daughters. I
In those days girls were restricted to their dormshave a wonderful relationship with my three girls.
after 10:00pm. The reception room of the girls'I'm retired, bald, and overweight. I don't have a
dorm was a busy place until the girls went to bed.problem getting dates and repeat dates with
What do college girls talk about? They talk aboutwomen half my age and sometimes much
college boys. My two buddies and I got ayounger. I live in Las Vegas, and I'm referring to
temporary job of electrical rewiring the receptionladies like waitresses, receptionists, show girls, and
room of the girls' dorm. We decided to bug it attourist girls. I'm white, but when it comes to
the same time. After that we listened to the girls'women I'm color blind. I have no trouble getting
conversations at our dorm with a big speaker. Wedates with blacks, whites, or whatever.
soon had the shock of our lives.There are things that a woman will not put up
One of my buddies would have given his left armwith that can ruin a relationship on the first or
to have had a date with a striking beautiful girl,second date. Dressing sloppy or dressing too
but she always turned him down. The girls talkedcasual on a first date will turn a woman off.
about my friends and me, but they would gaveLosing your wallet and asking a date to pay for
us the quick nice guys treatments and moved ondrinks and dinner is a real turn off. Bragging about
to other guys. The first time they discussed Joe,your numerous girl friends will assure you of not
my fiends and I almost fell out of our chairs. Thegetting a second date. Complaining to the
beautiful girl that my friend was after stated thatmanagement about poor service and talking down
she had never done it with a boy, but all Joe hadto serving staff is a good way to kill a relationship
to was ask and she would drop her drawers forbefore it even gets started. Talking about your
him. My friend almost went into shock andhealth problems or your dietary quirks is a first
wondered how that girl could overlook hisdate killer too. Women like guys that have good
beautiful masculine body and go for a nerd withmanners.
pimples. We realized right then and there that weI realize that being old, ugly, and fat will turn most
had a great deal to learn about women.women off upon initial contact. I also know these
One weekend I met Joe at a local college hangoutobstacles can be over come if a women is
called "The Hut." After having two beers with Joe,treated just right when meeting a man for the
I asked him his secret for charming so manyfirst time. You owe it to yourself to learn all you
college girls. Joe told me it was not always thatcan about women before you settle for a
way and that he never had one date in highpermanent relationship with one. Men are men and
school. Every girl he ever asked turned him down.women are women, and they don't think alike.